What is “radical self-care”? It is a phrase coined to emphasize the idea that we must take care of ourselves first, before we can take care of others. Unfortunately, this concept has been misconstrued by some, to embrace narcissism and toxic positivity; to justify ignoring the suffering of others.

In our context here, radical self-care is being explored as a tool for those who have been oppressed, to rise and reclaim power over our bodies, mind, and sprit. Radical self-care is an act of rebellion and a means to serve our highest Self, so that we can support those around us, with grace and ease.

As Angela Davis stated in a 2018 interview with Afropunk, “If we don’t start practicing collective self-care now, there’s no way to imagine, much less reach, a time of freedom.”

The following five steps are just my experience, summarized into chunks or concepts so that I can share them with you. My own mother and grandmother sacrificed so much for me to have the privileges I have today. In a sense, I am paying homage to their memories by taking care of myself. Their suffering will not be in vain, and if I can help others become aware of their own inner power and self-worth, then my ancestors will be happy with me!

1.       Nourish

Nourish your body with whole foods that you love. Make a nurturing meal for yourself and enjoy it in your own company! Many women spend so much time cooking for or nourishing others, (and of course we do it with love) that we neglect to give that gift to ourselves. Imagine all the love and care you infuse into a meal for your family. Can you provide for yourself with the same loving care? There are ton of online resources on how to cook healthy meals. Explore to find what suits your palate.

2.       Cleanse

Cleanse the things that no longer serve you from your closet, your pantry, your car. Give them away, throw them out, pass them down, whatever feels right. In cleansing, we are making space and transforming the old into something magnificent. Write down some of the behaviors you no longer wish to be surrounded by or consumed by in your own being.  Then burn it, throw it out, get rid of it! Another aspect of cleansing involves eliminating toxic foods from your diet and cleansing the body. There are a number of 21-Day or 28-Day cleanses out there; or you can just cut sugar or caffeine for a period of time to see how you feel.

3.       Strengthen

Strengthen your resolve to care for self - mind and body. Go for a long or fast-paced walk in your neighborhood, or drive to a park that you have always wanted to explore. Hike or bike a trail, do your favorite workout at home, or find a new way to move and strengthen your body. Maybe you would have fun committing to a plank challenge or a 5k walk? Depending on your body, find something that challenges your norm, to strengthen your core, arms, and legs. Afro-Cuban dance is a great way to do this!

4.       Release

Releasing pent up feelings is really one of the most important healing tools we have. We know that feelings of anger, frustration, envy, sorrow, and fear are all very powerful. If left untended these emotions can lead to physical disease like hypertension, heart disease and more. Write your honest feelings in a journal, look for a therapist that you can vibe with, find a community of support online or in your faith-based community. Above all I have found it useful to simply acknowledge my feelings and know that it’s ok to fully sit with the pain. Releasing emotions almost always involves some form of interconnection. Most betrayal happens in relationship, and therefore must be healed in relationship.

5.       Focus

Focus comes with ease after nourishing, cleansing, strengthening, and releasing. It is time now to focus, undistracted, on the inner Self. Yoga is a powerful tool to bring awareness to the body and explore the connection between mind, breath, and body. The purpose of yoga as a spiritual practice, is to prepare the body so that the mind is undistracted and free to focus inward. In this way, we can experience our true selves, with ease and grace. In fact, the 8 limbs of yoga, Ashtanga, is an entire system of Societal and Personal guidelines for finding self-liberation and freedom from oppression.

These 5 steps are broad and there are myriad ways to personalize each step. The most powerful aspect of radical self-care, and what makes it RADICAL in my opinion, is that each woman is free and encouraged to bring her own ways of healing. What’s healing to one may be stifling to another. Maybe dance is your method of cleansing and strengthening – do it! Do whatever it takes, in whatever order speaks to you.  It can be really special to customize a Self-Care Day, and actually put it on your calendar. Making time to connect to Spirit is the most important part of the process of self-care.

How you radicalize self-care is up to you, that’s the art of it. How self-care manifests for you is the beauty, is the fragrance, that comes from your unique essence.